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Love my friends...

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Nov. 4th, 2007 | 10:43 am
mood: irritatedirritated
music: Arms of an angel

    I loved my friends but why is it that every teenager nowadays think cutting themselves or talking about killing themselves makes their life any better. I mean, I love my friends, but they're idiots. Suicide doesn't solve anything. The only suicide that made the world better was Hitler's and it still upset alot of people. The only thing that really depresses me is when my friends cut themself. Every person I look at, theres slash marks across their arm or something. Truthfully, maybe 1 out of 5 people I see. Cutting has actually been proven to make people even more depressed after. Theres other ways to get rid of stress. Much safer and healthier ways.
    The only time I EVER though of killing myself was when I was depressed in fifth grade and this creepy guy kept on saying weird nasty things to me and hit me once. Also, my best friend was going out to beer parties. After that, I came to a realization that it would hurt others around me. SUICIDE IS SELFISH. Thats what people don't understand. Think about others, not yourself. Sure, you're having problems with a boyfriend, thats no excuse to kill yourself though. After the creepy guy incident, I've had even worse happen and never once thought of killing myself again. Also, I have never in my LIFE ever thought of cutting myself (though I do have hemophobia and a fear of sharp objects).
     There was a time when I was sick and my mom had to get surgery and she almost wasn't able to because she got sick too (later I found out not from me). I thought I was the one that made her sick and to add on to that, it was my dad's birthday. Well, my mom did get the surgery but she was spaced out on Christmas and wasn't able to move around much. Not long after that my grandpa had cardiac arrest and my parents went to Tucson to stay with him for a week. A day after they came back, my grandpa died. They went back to Tucson to stay with my grandma and missed having new years with us. To add on top of that, I lost my friends at school from being so upset and started to spend lunch by myself. This all happened in the course of about 2 and a half weeks. The whole time I never one thought of causing harm to myself. What did I do? I just carried on. And life is pretty good right now. Even though I've been through alot of sucky stuff, I'm still generally a really happy person.
Well, I think I better blow off steam on my homework.

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